Life is what you make it....

Blog Challenge December 20

Love is part of our everyday life. Whether it is a sweet kiss on the forehead as you leave for work, or baking your loved ones favorite food for supper one night. What are some ways other than scrapbooking that you show those you love that they are loved? How are some of the subtile ways that your loved ones react to it.

 

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How he says thank you~

Hmmmm.....Okay one quick example.  I had put together a little gift bag for Steve, just because.  He has been showing more interest in having a "Game Night" with neighbors lately... So the bag had a bunch of things for playing Poker.  I sat it on his side of the bed one night before I went to sleep.  He hadn't come to bed yet, so I was out like a light and never saw his reaction.  The next day, he didn't say a word about it, but when I woke up that morning, I had a message on the mirror telling me thank you.  He had used Q-tips and tooth paste to say it.  That has to be one of the sweetest moments to always remember.  This happened back at the end of October and to this day I still have it on my mirror! :)  I like having it there to remind me that he does appreciate the little things I do and he lets me know in his own sweet ways.

Challenge of the day~ document a secret desire.

Writing down your secret disires....the challenge of the day. 

 

  What do I secretly desire?  Well, actually I don't think it's a secret that I want to be with my husband forever.  But that is the desire.  He is the most wonderful  man! You would know what I mean if you had the chance to meet him.  We really have come to cherish the moments we get together.  He has heart problems.  For the most part as it stands today, he is doing well.  But, when he had surgery almost three years ago, we were told that he would probably only have ten years.  IF he took care of himself.  What a shock!  Seriously.  I think about that soooo much.  What am I going to do without him?  What are his children going to do when we don't have him here any more?  How will I go on without him?  Every one of those questions are still unanswered.  I would like to keep it that way & not have to answer them.  My heart aches thinking of life without him.  I know I will be fine.  I am a very srtong person.  I am self-sufficient.  I can do anything I set my mind to do.  I don't want to be left to live life on my own.  I want to grow old with him.  I want to see our children get married and have grandchildren to enjoy together.  I want to travel with him after the kids move away.  I want to see the sun set and the sun rise with him every day of our lives.  I want to get grey and wrinkly with him.  I want to clelebrate 50 years of marriage one day...TOGETHER.  So, that is the desire.  To celebrate 50 years together.

Long week!

URGH!!!!  I just sat here and typed my heart out!!! I hit one wrong button and poof!!!  It is gone.....  that sucks so bad! What I was saying is that Steve put his resignation in at work on Tuesday.  I feel sad for him because he loves the job and hates the way it runs.  He was asked to leave early instead of staying the full 4 weeks.  They told him they didn't want him to "polute the staff".  That made me soo angry~  He has put everything he has into that job.  And they decide they aren't even going to come back with a counter offer, because they want him gone.  I wish there was a way to make them realize what they are going to be losing.  I know, because I didnt' have him for 7 years!  They had his attention, his dedication, his time, and his life!  That company took so much from us. (me and the kids)  We were put on the back burner every day that he worked there!  I hated it!  But now I will have him and I am scared.  I don't want him to be sad or angry that he doesn't have VO to take up his time and energy.  I want him to put that toward us as a family and I don't want him to hold it against us.  I want him to be happy.  But I am afraid he'll be bored and resentful.  I hope that won't be the case.  I want to be able to spend time together and get healthy and back into shape so that he will have a healthier body and his heart will last longer than the time that he has as he is now.  I don't want to lose him.  I love him sooooooooooooo much!

Posted: 4:43 PM, Apr. 28, 2005

April 11Th

Had a great lunch with my baby today.  I love spending alone time.  Even if it's  at a diner.  I miss getting to be with him just the two of us.  More in a bit... gotta go chat with Mom and Dad. Chatted with mom and dad.  They came over to drop off a check for the cost of our Hawaii trip this summer.  Wow...Hawaii again.  I think it's going to be so great.  This time my mom, dad and sister are coming.  I can't wait, but then again I can.  I hate being away from home.  I don't know why... I just do.  I guess it's because I don't want anything bad to happen and my way of thinking is that if we don't leave home, we will all be safe.  What a whacked way of thinking huh? Well what else is on my mind?  Oh, lunch.  We had a really deep conversation about how our lives are going both as a couple and as individuals.  I worry about him soooo much.  Work causes him to get stressed beyond what it should.  Then his blood pressure sky rockets.  I hate the fact that he feels like he has to be loyal and protect the people he has working for him, because if it was the other way around, you can be sure they wouldn't even give a damn about him.  Hmmm...  Kind of cynical I know.  But the truth hurts sometimes. As far as me,  I have a lot of learning to do when it comes to people in general.  It seems like I bend over backwards to help anyone I see in need.  Hmmm... who does that sound like?  Now I get why he does what he does.  Because no matter what, we care about other people.  That is the bottom line.  So I guess I should back off and let him get done what he wants to do before he quits.  Bla, bla, bla... Time to end.

Posted: 7:19 PM, Apr. 11, 2005